6 Tips to Get Unstuck
One of the biggest challenges that we may face in our lives is when we get to a point of stagnation. The statistics are not so great, since a study has found that 69% of people feel stuck in some way, be it in their own routines, in their work, or in their interpersonal relationships.
What causes you to get stuck?
There are different ways to feel stuck. You might feel that you are not advancing in your career, that you are far from the path that you had set out for yourself. You can be stuck in your personal relationships, your daily routines, or you might think that everyone is in another stage of life except you. You might think that there are no alternatives for your future, perhaps work no longer satisfies you or maybe you are uncertain about what your next step should be.
After working with many coaching clients who find themselves stuck, I have noticed that the problem with falling into this situation is spending too much time and energy on these thoughts and not changing one’s behavior which can lead to frustration and even depression, becoming a vicious cycle.
People get stuck for many reasons, and if it has happened to you, you have probably fallen into any of these situations:
1) You have created “fake goals,” and are working on activities that don’t align with what you really want. It’s important to recognize this, as you can easily get frustrated by not feeling fulfilled, feel dissatisfied or believe that you aren’t using your full potential.
2) You are not surrounded by people who have the same goals or desires as you, or who have had achievements that inspire and stimulate you to set goals similar to those they have already accomplished. Your social circle definitely makes you progress towards the goals that you would like to achieve, you could even be more proactive and consider having a mentor to support you along the way.
3) You have voluntarily decided to stay in that vicious circle, your life frustrates you, you don’t move forward, you live in routines, but it is difficult for you to make a change out of fear, to avoid risk or fear of failing, so you miss opportunities and even give up on your dreams.
The good news is that you are not stuck in a dead end. There are several effective strategies you can try to avoid feeling stuck. Remember that this situation can bring on bigger problems, so it’s important to ACT as soon as possible.
Usually people live with established routines that can stagnate us and add to unnecessary frustration, as we end up living on auto-pilot, so we need to give our life intention. If you find yourself in a situation of stagnation, here are some strategies that will allow you to take a step forward:
1) Get rid of “fake goals” that are not aligned to your true desires. To do this, ask yourself questions about why you are doing what you are doing. For example, if you find yourself working in a company, you should be clear about why you are there, what your goals are in the near future and where that job will lead you as a next step. If your goal was to have that job because that is what your parents expected or what “life dictates,” then you will probably have a hard time finding motivation in that.
It seems like common sense, however, many people pursue “fake goals” because they have been educated to believe there is a path with goals that must be met: study, graduate, get married, have children. But do these expectations fulfill your true desires? What if you have different goals? In reality, you could be feeling stuck because you are working toward goals that are not in accordance with wat you really want.
What does your “future self” want you to do today? By making decisions thinking about your future projection, it can help you move forward with purpose and not feel frustrated. Eliminating fake goals can help you think of goals that truly inspire you. It is important that you do not focus on instant gratification just to satisfy the moment.
2) Choose goals that you really want to achieve, consider those that really matter to you, align them with your values and priorities. Always keep your strengths and skills in mind in order to maximize your potential. It will help you minimize feelings of frustration and stagnation.
3) Address your mindset. Not all the problems are external, you have to analyze yourself, since many times the challenge lies within ourselves and our mentality. It is important to be aware of our self-talk as it can have a big impact on our results. For example, don’t stay in the mental stagnation of thinking “I don’t have money, so I can’t plan a trip”, instead change that thought to “I don’t have money at the moment, but I will create a savings plan in order to achieve that goal.” The positive reframe opens you up to new possibilities.
4) Do not fall into perceptions. Feeling stuck does not mean that you actually are. You need to be honest with yourself to define that you are indeed in this situation and that you are not falling into imposter syndrome.
5) Get out of your comfort zone. Break your routines. Get involved in activities that challenge you to do something different and especially where you will learn something. This will help you feel that you are moving forward, and you also have the possibility of meeting new people.
6) Surround yourself with people who have goals similar to the ones you aspire to achieve. Learn from those people who have achieved goals to which you aspire, look for a mentor or a coach who allows you to reinforce your goals and inspire you to achieve them.
If you consider that your thoughts are overwhelming you and that you do not have the necessary tools to work on this issue, it is always important to approach an expert, so contact us.