12 de February, 2018
It seems that the phrase “self-love” is being talked about all the time, and everyone is a fierce proponent of it, but what does it really mean? It can mean different things for each person since we have different ways of showing love to ourselves. Yet, a more important question is why does self-love matter?
According to clinical psychologist, Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D., self-love is a way of relating to yourself that does not involve harshly judging or punishing yourself for every mistake you make, or every time someone does better than you. Research on self-compassion shows that it is associated with:
Taking it one step further, self-love is not a feeling, but rather an action. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. So, self-love is a fundamental aspect of personal and professional development. And while it might seem like a “woo woo” topic, I’d say it is a crucial component of leadership.
I can’t keep count of how many times I’ve had coaching clients telling me they don’t think they’re good/smart enough, they don’t have the courage to speak up, or they don’t trust in their abilities to face a certain challenge. Self-love is at the core of many of these situations and it influences the image you project at work and how you cope with problems.
Greenberg explains that self-love has three aspects:
It sounds simple enough, right? But, why is it so difficult to put into practice? Self-love, then, is a lot more than just having a spa day (although it’s never a bad idea!) Here are some ideas you can try out to develop greater self-love:
When you grow in self-love, you can accept your weaknesses as well as your strengths, have less need to explain away your short-comings, and have compassion for yourself as a human being struggling to find personal meaning. Not only will self-love bring you personal benefits, but it will also improve how you relate to others.
If you choose just one or two of these self-love actions to work on, you will begin to accept and love yourself more. Which one will you try today?
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